Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
