i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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