OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
