I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
