stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize