If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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