Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
