I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
