Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
