you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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