Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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