It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
