We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
