I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
