There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
