Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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