Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
