I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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