Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
