haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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