Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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