the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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