i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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