sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
