We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
