I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
