How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
