you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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