can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
