U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
