Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
