but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
