thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Randomize
