God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
