It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
