The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
