nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
