Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
