Christians are straight up FREAKS
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
