Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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(847): Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state http://tfl.nu/3q3r

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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?

(443): View more from Maryland

We using my standards or yours?

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(301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad? (443): We using my standards or yours? http://tfl.nu/agac

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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(757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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(250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(502): i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'. http://tfl.nu/b21s

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.

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(609): he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it. http://tfl.nu/w24u

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.

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(910): You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear. http://tfl.nu/21wf

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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(610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm

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(845): View more from New York

She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.

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(845): She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'. http://tfl.nu/t716

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(713): View more from Texas

I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

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(713): I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you http://tfl.nu/33e4

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(760): View more from California

She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.

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(760): She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid. http://tfl.nu/c9kh

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(315): View more from New York

Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video

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(315): Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video http://tfl.nu/4318

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(207): View more from Maine

I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.

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(207): I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time. http://tfl.nu/5zpy

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(714): View more from California

Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

(951): View more from California

Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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(714): Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate. (951): Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day. http://tfl.nu/xq5q

Replies (5) Good night (1059) Bad night (169)
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(760): View more from California

Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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(760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv

Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt

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