yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me