I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on