I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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