Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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