White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
