Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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