I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
