So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this boner is exhausting
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
