Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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