dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
