just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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