Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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