so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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