apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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