Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
