dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
