yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
