she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
