i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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