I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
