dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
