I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
