If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
